When our sweet and delicate baby was born, did anyone ever mention that they would turn into this variably screaming, yelling, entitled, demanding, moody child over the next few - maybe 10-20 years?
Nope.
Did anyone tell us that parenting needs us to have a certain kind of fitness so we don’t keel over at the first hurdle?
Nope.
Did anyone tell us that ‘our baby’ will have periods of being less than respectful, responsible and decent as they grow and develop?
If they did, were we listening, or did we successfully tune that one out?
Did anyone say that we need to feel so solid and secure in ourselves so that we won't bat an eyelid when the verbal tirade begins?
Nope.
We have our gorgeous baby and think life is ‘happy ever after’ when it’s more like ‘unending challenge ever after.’
We were sold a pig in a poke!
Are we supported in our communities to become ‘parenting-fit’? Sometimes, sometimes not. However, on this website the answer is absolutely and categorically YES!
The key to parenting fitness is to build muscles to stay connected on the inside so we don't get affected by what is happening on the outside.
There are a range of resources we have in order to build that inner connection and get ourselves fit for the job so we don’t waiver so much when children are hitting the boundaries.
We need to be ‘fit so that we don’t get rattled, devastated or fall apart when they tell us we are ‘the worst parent’ and they ‘hate us every day’? That can be a lot to listen to, a part of being fit is to not swallow what we hear. Are we looking for instant outcomes that seek to fix but sell ourselves short in the process? We can stand back and get some perspective, observing the situation, knowing that…
If anyone is in reaction, is yelling or grumpy, its super clear that they are not able to be responsible, decent and respectful at that moment, that goes for people of all ages.
We can develop and build our own fitness using the resources that are here to support us, including self-love, appreciation and self-worth. Knowing we are more than enough to deal with what is in front of us, comes from the inside-out. If we come back to this central point and are connected internally, that is our rock in life, no matter how hard the adored baby-turned-teenager yells.
Photo by Kamaji Ogino from Pexels
Further reading